在家里休息的这几天，翻阅了不少书籍。阅读了i 周刊的一篇专栏，好喜欢作者李邪对于生死的想法。
以下是我觉得很有意义的部分：
“人，就是这么贱。 明明承受不了的东西，又偏以为自己有能耐。
对于身边的至亲，有些人从来没有做任何准备。至亲随时会离开的准备。
即使有准备，也从来不是万全的。
所谓准备… 而是，一个人的心，有没有足够的力量去承受对方的死亡...
当你明白，原来你对死亡还是这么执著时，你就只能用同样的执著，对待生命。
不忍它死，所以，也不忍心它不活。
对所有我不忍心看他们死去的人，我希望能让他们活得快乐。
只有这样，生死的感受，都是平等的饱满。
死亡超悲痛， 活着超狂乐。”
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Family therapy
I have been reading up on the different forms of family therapies to prepare for my new job. It involves revisiting what I have read in SW 4101 including all the essays and readings. Reading my previous essays is quite an enlightening experience. Sometimes I will be in awe that I actually felt and thought in a particular sort of way. Other times it is encountering past questions that continue to haunt me.
A lot of times, identifying problems in families is not exactly difficult. It's how to get out of that cycle of behaviour that is difficult. To simplify things, let's start with myself. I often caught myself by surprise when I get emotional about certain things. Emotions that I never knew existed. I could revisit my past and tell you why I behave in a certain way. Why I am so complicated. So not what? How do I go about fixing this "problem"? It involves peering into my beliefs structure and shaking the foundations. It involves being open to the outpouring of emotions that have resulted from all the shaking. Are you willing to subject yourself to this?
A lot of times, identifying problems in families is not exactly difficult. It's how to get out of that cycle of behaviour that is difficult. To simplify things, let's start with myself. I often caught myself by surprise when I get emotional about certain things. Emotions that I never knew existed. I could revisit my past and tell you why I behave in a certain way. Why I am so complicated. So not what? How do I go about fixing this "problem"? It involves peering into my beliefs structure and shaking the foundations. It involves being open to the outpouring of emotions that have resulted from all the shaking. Are you willing to subject yourself to this?
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Action movies
I never liked watching action movies or should I say I thought I would never like watching movies with a lot of men and a lot of blood and a lot of sweat and dirt. Until this year...
The cool action moves...the muscular hunks might have contributed to it. But those are minuscule in comparison to my feelings. I feel touched when I watched action movies. Like this one:
The cool action moves...the muscular hunks might have contributed to it. But those are minuscule in comparison to my feelings. I feel touched when I watched action movies. Like this one:
The protaganists in these movies are always standing up for something that they believe in...something worth fighting for. It could be one person or a group of people and they never sought out to make a difference but just to save or protect what they believe in. I am moved by their courage and passion. Because it is what I would like to be.
It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against any injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
- Robert F. Kennedy
We need to stand for something greater than ourselves.
Sunday, 21 June 2009
One day Lobster Firefly Tour
Time: 635 amWe are on our way towards to Tuas Checkpoint. Tired. I slept less than 3 hrs the night before.
We are in Malaysisa! This is my traveling companion, Mr. M tucking into his very very oily guotiao. It's amazing how there are sooo many aunties around us at the coffeeshop n how awake they are so early in the morning. Next stop: Ostrich Farm.
I have a fear of dirty toilets. It scares me. Stepping on human pee is just eww. Here's a picture of the tandas at the ostrich farm. Very kampung style.
Ostrich chicks. They were forever eating and snapping their beaks at things. Everything. Wires and I believe my finger if I were to try and pat it.
This is a REAL ostrich. It seemed a little stoned though. It just stood there and let us touch it. Its mouth was always open. I wonder why.
These cocks were allowed to roam freely in the farm and they were really tame. Surprising.
Ostrich meat. It tasted like chicken though. Mr. M looked so happy to be eating. Must be really hungry. Humans are really funny things. One moment we are happily taking pictures and saying how cute the chicks are. The next moment we are eating them.
Tau sa pia!!! Super nice. I love Malaysia's tau sa pia! The crust is not so crumbly and they are pretty generous with the filling.
That's us. I was trying to protect myself from the sun hence the robber look.
I was trying to apply what John Ang taught me in special areas. Taking creative photos with not too much details. Have I learnt well? Next stop: Desaru Fruit Farm
I was not trying to take a picture of the girl. This is a dragon fruit plant! I never knew that dragon fruit is a member of the cactus family. Cooollll.
This was our guide, Nor.
A random shot of a really pretty flower. Flowers are such mood lifters.
Scary Kois. They will just swarm towards the food source. They were pretty though with all the different colours.
The thousand hands Guanyin banana. What a name.
Cat mountain king (direct translation) durians. I remember eating at Geylang and two cost S$70. It's the most expensive durian.
We saw this monkey that can drink from a straw and shook people's hands and refused to let go.
All about bees. I love the honey they served! Yum yum. A little fact I learnt: Don't put your honey (Not that human honey) in the fridge or drink it in hot water. It kills the enzymes (the good stuff) in them.
My bus mates feasting on durians. Yum Yum. But they are really heaty.
Kota Tinggi. Pardon my bored face. There was really nothing to shop there. I couldn't buy my smarties choc at 7 eleven store cos' they didn't have change for a RM$50 note. Business seems really slow.
Yeah this was how it looked like. Looks like a photo from 70's - 80's Singapore. Rustic and peaceful.
Firefly boat ride. Pretty ain't it? The sky, the land the sea made a beautiful picture. The tranquil atmosphere soothed a person. I love nature.
We were all in this luminous life jackets that were old and "chui3". Mine was held together by 2 strings. Anyway I think we provided some form of entertainment for the locals cos' we looked like refugees or some shipwrecked survivors travelling in a boat.
Cruising into the dark. No more photos were taken cos' it got too dark. Fireflies were really pretty and tiny insects that glowed like Christmas lights on trees. I remembered when I was Sec 3, I went on a school trip to KL to look at fire flies. And I caught one! Ok it's actually not allowed but I didn't know! Anyway it looked like a flying ant that has eaten a small light bulb.
Trip was fun. Food could have been better. Tandas were not as scary as before. Will love another overseas trip.
We are in Malaysisa! This is my traveling companion, Mr. M tucking into his very very oily guotiao. It's amazing how there are sooo many aunties around us at the coffeeshop n how awake they are so early in the morning. Next stop: Ostrich Farm.
I have a fear of dirty toilets. It scares me. Stepping on human pee is just eww. Here's a picture of the tandas at the ostrich farm. Very kampung style.
Ostrich chicks. They were forever eating and snapping their beaks at things. Everything. Wires and I believe my finger if I were to try and pat it.
This is a REAL ostrich. It seemed a little stoned though. It just stood there and let us touch it. Its mouth was always open. I wonder why.
These cocks were allowed to roam freely in the farm and they were really tame. Surprising.
Ostrich meat. It tasted like chicken though. Mr. M looked so happy to be eating. Must be really hungry. Humans are really funny things. One moment we are happily taking pictures and saying how cute the chicks are. The next moment we are eating them.
Tau sa pia!!! Super nice. I love Malaysia's tau sa pia! The crust is not so crumbly and they are pretty generous with the filling.
That's us. I was trying to protect myself from the sun hence the robber look.
I was trying to apply what John Ang taught me in special areas. Taking creative photos with not too much details. Have I learnt well? Next stop: Desaru Fruit Farm
I was not trying to take a picture of the girl. This is a dragon fruit plant! I never knew that dragon fruit is a member of the cactus family. Cooollll. 
This was our guide, Nor.
A random shot of a really pretty flower. Flowers are such mood lifters.
Scary Kois. They will just swarm towards the food source. They were pretty though with all the different colours.
The thousand hands Guanyin banana. What a name.
Cat mountain king (direct translation) durians. I remember eating at Geylang and two cost S$70. It's the most expensive durian.
We saw this monkey that can drink from a straw and shook people's hands and refused to let go.
All about bees. I love the honey they served! Yum yum. A little fact I learnt: Don't put your honey (Not that human honey) in the fridge or drink it in hot water. It kills the enzymes (the good stuff) in them.
My bus mates feasting on durians. Yum Yum. But they are really heaty.
Kota Tinggi. Pardon my bored face. There was really nothing to shop there. I couldn't buy my smarties choc at 7 eleven store cos' they didn't have change for a RM$50 note. Business seems really slow.
Yeah this was how it looked like. Looks like a photo from 70's - 80's Singapore. Rustic and peaceful.
Firefly boat ride. Pretty ain't it? The sky, the land the sea made a beautiful picture. The tranquil atmosphere soothed a person. I love nature.
We were all in this luminous life jackets that were old and "chui3". Mine was held together by 2 strings. Anyway I think we provided some form of entertainment for the locals cos' we looked like refugees or some shipwrecked survivors travelling in a boat.
Cruising into the dark. No more photos were taken cos' it got too dark. Fireflies were really pretty and tiny insects that glowed like Christmas lights on trees. I remembered when I was Sec 3, I went on a school trip to KL to look at fire flies. And I caught one! Ok it's actually not allowed but I didn't know! Anyway it looked like a flying ant that has eaten a small light bulb.Trip was fun. Food could have been better. Tandas were not as scary as before. Will love another overseas trip.
Friday, 19 June 2009
Quote of the day
What makes a man a man? A friend of mine once wondered. Is it his origins? The way he comes to life? I don't think so. Its the choices he makes. Not how he starts things, but how he decides to end them.
John Myers, Hellboy
John Myers, Hellboy
Saturday, 13 June 2009
....
My Dad just said that the "worker" in the word "social worker" sounds so low class. If it was one year ago, I would have been dreadfully insulted. But now, I just laugh it off. Afterall, it's what I think and believe in that really matters.
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Leader of The Band
An only child
Alone and wild
A cabinet maker's son
His hands were meant
For different work
And his heart was known
To none --
He left his home
And went his lone
And solitary way
And he gave to me
A gift I know I never
can repay
A quiet man of music
Denied a simpler fate
He tried to be a soldier once
But his music wouldn't wait
He earned his love
Through discipline
A thundering, velvet hand
His gentle means of sculpting souls
Took me years to understand.
The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through
My instrument
And his song is in my soul --
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy
To the leader of the band.
My brothers' lives were different
For they heard another call
One went to Chicago
And the other to St. Paul
And I'm in Colorado
When I'm not in some hotel
Living out this life I've chose
And come to know so well.
I thank you for the music
And your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom
When it came my time to go --
I thank you for the kindness
And the times when you got tough
And, pap, I don't think I
Said 'I love you' near enough --
The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through
My instrument
And his song is in my soul --
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy
To the leader of the band
I am the living legacy
To the leader of the band
I so adore this song.
Alone and wild
A cabinet maker's son
His hands were meant
For different work
And his heart was known
To none --
He left his home
And went his lone
And solitary way
And he gave to me
A gift I know I never
can repay
A quiet man of music
Denied a simpler fate
He tried to be a soldier once
But his music wouldn't wait
He earned his love
Through discipline
A thundering, velvet hand
His gentle means of sculpting souls
Took me years to understand.
The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through
My instrument
And his song is in my soul --
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy
To the leader of the band.
My brothers' lives were different
For they heard another call
One went to Chicago
And the other to St. Paul
And I'm in Colorado
When I'm not in some hotel
Living out this life I've chose
And come to know so well.
I thank you for the music
And your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom
When it came my time to go --
I thank you for the kindness
And the times when you got tough
And, pap, I don't think I
Said 'I love you' near enough --
The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through
My instrument
And his song is in my soul --
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy
To the leader of the band
I am the living legacy
To the leader of the band
I so adore this song.
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